This is the very way I felt in my life for years. Then God began to show me that I was a child of his and saved by the blood of Jesus. I am called to reach the lost and share the gospel with as many people as I can. I tell you sitting here typing a blog is one of the last things that I ever thought I would be doing. When I was in school I had a very hard time reading and writing. I have never like to read at all. I can remember when I was a child I would be made fun of because I could not read well. I sounded kinda like stuttering nut when I would read. I never read a book from cover to cover until the age of 27. I was in special education all the way thru school. So my confidence level was pretty low. I have always been a hands on person give me something to do with my hands and I was in my zone.
So to think God could use this old boy to write my journey with him, with a mountain of emotion in my life huh. You see I had been cutting myself short by not allowing God to work thru me. I was just using all my weakness in life as and excuse. God used Moses to lead the children of Israel out of Egypt. Moses could not even talk plan he stuttered. You know the Lord just had to say get over it Jeff just get over it. For us Southern good O'boys we might say. Put your big boy paints on and grow up. I had to quit feeling like I was no good or maybe not good enough. Well I have got to the point that I just say God my life is yours. I want to be used by God in any way he sees fit. Like I said before I am the most unlikely person to be writing a blog. This is just one way that I can share to the world that God is there source of Freedom. A maybe this O' boy from Alabama can share his struggles that God brings him thru everyday. To give somebody some hope that may feel like they are just not good enough.
Here's the thing if I had waited until I became perfect to get married I would have never got married. Our if I had waited to be the perfect man before having children I would have never had any. God did have to work on the children part, for the people that really know me knows what I am talking about. The point is we will never be perfect until we get to heaven. God wants us just the way we are so he can mold us in to what he wants us to be.
I have also had the fear that I may be doing the wrong thing. I have learned you don't know unless you try. I have done the wrong thing several times in my life. As long as I am breathing I will again. I just have had to say opps missed that one. The thing is God does not want us to be afraid to try. So what if I miss the mark a few times before I know exactly what God is wanting me to do. I will keep on keeping on. The Holy Spirit which lives inside of me lets me know pretty quick if it is God leading me or Jeff getting off track.
I talk to people all the time that feels like God is wanting them to do something. Maybe God is just wanting you to have a closer walk with him to let your life be a ministry by your everyday life you live. What ever it may be. Just know you are good enough and don't cut yourself short. God loves to take our weaknesses and make us strong. Somethings about God just blows me away. So I challenge you to let go and let God use you and be blown away!
Philippians 4:13
New International Version (NIV) I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
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